The BEST MISTAKE

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There is a 21-year-old young man in the Dominican Republic who grew up not knowing his father. One day he met his dad who told him he was a mistake. As you can imagine, the son was devastated. However, not long afterward, the son received a letter from a stranger reminding him of his value. The young man later contacted his father and told him that he was not a mistake and even if he was, he’s the best mistake his father ever made.

Words carry weight. How do you see yourself? Do you know and believe that you are valuable beyond measure and no one changes that fact? It’s true and not only should you celebrate your value but you should help others see their own. Why did the father say such a jarringly hurtful thing? How does he view himself? To be fair, many fathers today – like my dad – are caring, men of honor who are excellent examples of fatherhood. Nonetheless, the young man in DR could just as well have been in India, The Bahamas, Europe, the United States, the Middle East, Africa or somewhere else in the world. Location doesn’t matter. Matters of the heart and mind do. Stand tall, believe in yourself, and be the light in someone else’s life. #myheartmatters#knowyourvalue#sonoftheKing, #kirkjohnsonworldwide

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You Are Powerful

Portrait Of Loving African American Couple In Countryside

Where there is life, there are relationships ~ Kirk Johnson 

Do you remember the last time someone said or did something that made you feel good about yourself? Perhaps it was a compliment from a love one or a coworker genuinely congratulating you for a job well done. The point is, we tend to remember the feeling even if the details fade from memory. Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Whether you are on the job, in the community or at home, you are a person of influence. Make someone “feel” good today! It may only take a genuine smile. ‪#‎mattersoftheheart‬, ‪#‎youmatter‬, ‪#‎thingsthatmatter‬, #‎kirkjohnsonworldwide‬

Finding the Right Words to Say

Words to Say

The ‘Right’ Words to Say

It has been a really long time since I last wrote and I have about a million great excuses for you. Reasons like, “I’ve been super busy”  and “There’s been a lot going on.”  Truth is, I felt like I didn’t have the ‘right’ words to say.  I waited for and even anticipated the perfect juxtaposition of words.  I was sure that once inspired, my words would flow like tapestry on virtual paper.  It simply did not happen. But eventually something clicked.

Finding the right time and the right words have a lot to do with what we value.  It isn’t that we do not have demanding schedules or that we don’t have to choose among choices.  Fact is, that’s life.  Life requires us to make choices among competing options.  It expects us to prioritize the more important things and very importantly, to balance and harmonize them. Otherwise, we risk not getting things done or getting many things done but in the wrong direction.

“Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they  are after,” Henry David Thoreau.  We can spend a lot of time and effort on a good thing, a great project, even a worthy goal.  But is it consistent with the direction your life should move towards?  Where are you investing your life? Are you making the time for what and who really matters?  Had I continued to wait for the perfect words, I could not share this blog with you.  Life is a mix of relationships and decisions.

Check your life’s compass to make sure you are on course.  You’ve got what it takes and What You Do Matters!

Fear Not

Superman Logo

I am on my knees in a Florida hotel room with tears running down my face.  Honestly, I would much rather keep this to myself but I know someone needs to read this.  I feel a little overwhelmed but not with sadness.  Rather, it’s a sobering awareness of GOD’s mindfulness towards me.

The past year and a half was tougher than I have admitted to anyone.  Frankly, there was only so much I could explain with words.  You may know like I do, what it’s like to have limited cash with barely enough money to buy gas for your car and then to lose that car.  You may have an idea of what it is like to face a crisis and feel like you’re quickly running out of options in a world where people are often measured by the contents of their pockets instead of the content of their character.

Although most persons in Orlando are vacationing,  I am not. I’m here on a very important mission that I will tell you more about in future blogs.  Right now, I’m reflecting on today’s devotions.  The words got pass my ears and have reached my soul. My spirit marvels at GOD’s love. “Fear not,” it reads, “for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’

For anyone who has a dream and you are wondering how you will beat the odds, I am talking to you. For that person who is at odds with a spouse, friend, coworker, business partner or family member and wants to find peace and resolve, I am talking to you.  To that teenager or adult who wants to better understand him or herself or forgive herself, I’m talking to you.  To that educator, construction engineer, student, CEO, administrator, carpenter, doctor, and unnamed persons who want to fully understand and complete their life’s purpose, I am talking to you.  For that person who wants to be loved, valued and respected, I AM TALKING TO YOU.

I’m not trying to give you a panacea like the one found in the “Alice in Wonderland” fairy tale. In most circumstances, clicking your heels will not make things better.  Rather, I am talking about forming a foundation of faith that you build on with your actions.  I can only share my personal story and the rewards of my relationship with CHRIST.  I’m not perfect but HE is.

We all have our own minds and hearts and I respect yours even if we don’t share the same convictions.  My heart is not to offend but to remind you that you are valuable, you are worth it. You can push beyond your ‘pause.’ Face your disappointments, even your fear of failure.  “The fears we don’t face become our limits”, says Robin Sharma. If you can’t fly, run; if you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk, crawl but by all means keep moving,” Dr. Martin Luther king Jr.

What you do matters. ~ Kirk Johnson

The First Duty of Love

Couple“The first duty of love is to listen.”  Wow, that quote by Paul Tillich held my attention from the moment I read it.   Then the slight twinge of guilt followed as I evaluated myself.  “How good of a listener am I?”  The last two years in my new business have been fast paced and extremely demanding – physically, emotionally and financially.  It seemed as if I didn’t have enough time to really listen to me much less anyone else.  But, how does that affect the people who matter to me?  I think of my fiancé, my family, my team, my close friends and most importantly, GOD.  How well am I listening?

As a relationship coach and talk show host, I’ve had the privilege to invest hours listening to persons share their thoughts and concerns.  Yet, I hold myself in contempt when it comes to how well I have listened otherwise.

For example, I love my ‘special lady’ and my folks and make it a point to tell them.  Yet, as I look more closely at my level of listening, I become more self-critical.  I’m not saying that I don’t listen but rather that good isn’t good enough when you can do better.  In the words of former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, “Sometimes doing your best is not good enough. Sometimes you must do what is required.”

So I challenge you as I commit to being an effective listener.  More so, an ‘active listener.’   Starting with my spiritual life.  My level of listening impacts the quality of my life and relationships.  By the way, your level affects yours too.  Active listening can be compared to the way the pores of our skin opens in response to hot water vapour.   It expands our awareness as it benefits both the sender and receiver.  Relationship experts Linda & Charlie Bloom says ‘The Three Magic Words in Relationships‘ are ‘communication, communication, communication.’  They say that in good communication, speaking is only half of the equation.  The other is listening.

With active listening by all involved, relationships become stronger as friends and love ones see life through each other’s eyes.  Stress levels lower.  Arguments and misunderstandings are avoided or amicably resolved.  Conversely, failing to actively listen can corrupt even the most promising relationship.

What is active listening?  Essentially, it is the act of making someone else the priority by focusing your attention on understanding and validating their message,  even if their view differs from yours.   In his article ‘Become a Better Listener,’ psychologist, Dr. John M. Grohol says active listening is all about building rapport, understanding, and trust.

Hence, I will hold my tongue and open my ears to honour my special lady.  To be her safe harbor where she can freely express her thoughts, hopes and dreams.  I will set aside distractions and decidedly listen to my love ones and to my inner voice.  I will make it a part of my daily life to listen to GOD as he speaks to my heart.  Ours is a commitment to actively listening to each other.   Are you already committed to the same?

What you do Matters.  ~ Kirk Johnson

They Shot and Killed My Brother…

Police Crime Scene

Police Crime Scene

My younger brother Craig was shot and killed by a group of men during what police described as an attempted robbery.   How could this happen and I’m asking God, “why?”  Why my brother?    He was attacked by thugs who shot him and then shot my father.   My dad survived but my brother did not.  I cried like a baby when I got the news.

Today, more than 10 years later, I still feel the pain.  Even now my eyes are filling with tears as I write this message.  Tucked away in my office, I’m doing the best I can to quickly wipe away the tears but they keep falling.   Each wiped tear is replaced by several others.  God help me.  How do I handle this?  I have so many questions.  They killed my little brother and it hurts inside.  What’s more, the murderers have not yet been apprehended.

It’s my father’s birthday today and so is Craig’s.  He would have been thirty-five years old if he were alive.  One of his favorite songs was Believe by Cher.   For several years following his death, my brother’s birthday was my father’s worst day.   He would become melancholy and withdrawn as he asked God the same question I have, “Why?”   My mom has battled with the same question and her hurt hurts my heart.   She has silently faced the reality that Craig is no longer here.   I know that God is not responsible for my brother’s death, but someone is.  The loss has personally touched my entire family, my brothers, my sisters, my friends and my community.   Despite the sobering loss, I’m thankful that my father is here today and that Craig had time to make amends with God before he died.

I’m not trying to force my beliefs on you but rather to first acknowledge that despite how strong we are, there is a source greater than us and that secondly, I have found that source to be God in Christ Jesus.  What you do matters.

KJW

Meeting Oscar-Winning Actor Sidney Poitier

Sidney Poitier honoured by President Obama

Sidney Poitier honoured by President Obama

My meeting Sir Sidney Poitier was without the extended entourage, fine tailored suits and clamoring reporters we often see.  It was not at the renaming ceremony of the Paradise Island Bridge in The Bahamas, nor was it during his guest of honour  appearance at Oprah’s “Dinner of a Lifetime with Sidney Poitier”  or President Obama’s honoring ceremony.

Rather, It was last weekend on the set of a video shoot for a new production by Regal Shine Films.  We were shooting in a cemetery near historic Nassau in The Bahamas.  However, the internationally acclaimed actor and diplomat was there for a completely different reason.  His limousine quietly drove into the cemetery’s parking lot and after a few minutes, a small group of persons made their way towards us.  It wasn’t until he was within 30 feet that I realized it was Sir Sidney, a few family members and a single bodyguard.  I would also later discover that the Minister of Foreign Affairs, the honourable Fred Mitchell, his driver, a press officer from the government’s Bahamas Information Services and a few others were present.

However, they, like us were not the focus of his attention.  We would later greet him, shake his hands and listen to his personal words of inspiration.  But right then, it was as if we weren’t there.  Understandably, he had a singular focus.  He was there to visit his parents’ place of rest.  He first walked to his father’s gravesite and spent a few minutes in quiet contemplation.  Then he walked the extra 50 yards to visit his mother’s grave and there he sat alone with the woman who gave birth to him 85 years ago.

My emotions were torn between the enthusiasm of meeting the man who inspired my father and whose cousin was  my mother’s neighbor and the sobering sense of loss that he was likely experiencing.  It was not the first time I had met Mr. Poitier but I can’t help but wonder if it was my last.   It made me think about how fortunate I am to still have my parents alive. More importantly, the need for me to fully value them in ways that are clear to their understanding.  Truth is, we can love someone all we want but if they don’t interpret it as love that meets their need, then there’s a shortfall.

In your case, my encouragment may relate to a friend, love interest or coworker, a family member or a complete stranger.  Life doesn’t always give us that “second chance.”  Make every moment count.  What you do matters.

KJW